yxx2

“You don’t want to fuck me again?”“Well, yeah, but…”“You’d rather go back to trying to finger Missy Yeager? And getting shot down all the time?”

Next, she eased herself onto the bed again like she did the night before. Though this time she wasn’t fooling around with her daddy’s chest. Like a cat she slowly stalked up and over her dad’s leg, hands and knees either side until she was looking right down at her father’s crotch. It was a difficult position to hold, and she wanted to be comfortable for a good while. Eventually she found that putting her hands either side of his waist was the easiest while letting herself lower down onto her elbows. Just one bonus of her daily volleyball training was keeping limber, though this wasn’t how she envisioned using it.

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.