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The second error is taking silence for an answer. When you pray to God and get only silence, that is neither a yes nor a no. It is simply the absence of a response. Whether or not God has heard your prayers is impossible to know, so however you interpret the silence, it is due to your own feelings. If you do something wrong and God doesn’t punish you, does that mean your actions are condoned or forgiven? How could you possibly know if God doesn’t explicitly tell you? God hasn’t deemed you unworthy; you deemed yourself unworthy. Do not try to find meaning in silence. All you hear is your own conscience.”

“And look I know you’re a big girl now. But if you have any more nightmares, you can always sleep with me if you’d like. I’m probably not going to wake up with the sleeping pills and all that junk on my head, but if having a big snoring log next to you helps you get a few more z’s then be my guest.”Sarah stopped on the stairs, struggling to find her words.“Sure dad, thanks. Love you, g’night.”

School wrapped up for the year without further contact outside of class. We both wanted something I thought—I did for sure—but it never worked out. We couldn’t just call each other’s houses, and I couldn’t just drop by with her kids and maybe husband there for all I knew. I was resigned to spending another summer trying to convince Missy Yeager to suck my cock.