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“Here, let me show you something. Give me your finger.” Carol sat up, slid a finger inside her pussy and took my finger with her other hand. She guided my finger inside her and touched what I later learned was called the G-spot. “Rub right here, finger me here while you eat my pussy. I’ll cum for sure.” She smiled at me and pecked me on the cheek. “I’m so glad that you want to learn how to do all this. Your girlfriends of the future will thank me.”

“Everything alright, kiddo?” her dad asked softly, walking over and putting a comforting hand on her back.Sarah made a panicked noise, which she managed to turn into a tired groan. “Mmrrr… I didn’t sleep well last night.”

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.