gromp lol

Ohmigawd!~ I'm like, so totes frustrated right now I could just like, suck some guy's cock!~ I'm supposed to suck dick, not like, protect the law and stuff!~Whay the fuck~Like, ohmigawd! What did you totally, like, do to me?! I look like a totes dumb bimbo! Not to, like, mention these totally huge jugs and how, like, my outfit totally turned totes slutty and stuff! And I, like, can’t stop speaking like a, like, dumb bimbo airhead?! Please, like, turn me back and stuff~!

“Actually, it’s meant to mimic the effects of sunlight. UV light is what causes sunburns. Unfortunately, while easy to make, it’s not as effective as you might think. The light is too… artificial. It lacks the potency of real sunlight. I tested it numerous times while in Welindar, always trying to improve it, but it was never more than an irritant to the Profane and their parasites. It didn’t help that the lower-ranked fiends can endure the sunlight in exchange for their lesser strength. Even if it did hurt them, the damage was very minor. It was better to just stick with my regular weapons and magic, though I regret that it wasn’t in working condition when Lupin and I fought Kaisen. Perhaps it would have wounded him. These tralt jewels, on the other hand, are great for absorbing light and energy. Using these, I can capture true sunlight, augment it, and use it whenever I need.”

“You should shower, big boy. I can’t take you home all sweaty. I’ll make us some drinks—vodka?”“Uh, sure.” Those were the days…