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“Get back up on the counter. All fours.” I surprised myself at how bossy I could be with my teacher. Carol smiled back at me and crawled up on the island, ass in the air. She reached back and spread her tight ass for me. Her asshole pulsed a bit, nervously I guessed. I put my tongue on her taint, tasting my own semen for the first time, and slowly dragged my tongue up across her asshole.

“I know that this is all new for you. That last part was new for me too. You made my body feel amazing—better than it ever felt before. Every one of my nerves is still tingling. Please don’t feel bad or guilty—you did exactly what I wanted. I should feel bad for turning you into a…”“…pervert.” I interjected, but smiling now.

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.