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Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.

“Take these back to the fitting room and try them on. I’ll bring back some other styles for you to try in a minute,” she said, still speaking too loudly.“Mrs. B., I don’t think you…” Clueless.

“You're sure you really want me to do this?” she asked him, nervously biting her lip. He responded by kissing her, deep and passionate, until they were both panting trying to catch their breath. I sat up and helped her do the same, and she didn't resist as I took her hand and led her down to the floor near the foot of the bed, settling her down to her hands and knees, Daddy scooching up to sit on the edge so he'd have a better view.