jade homestuck

“And do you know the best part?” she asked, reaching down to slowly stroke my dick again, giving me another, slower lick. “The best part is, all you ever had to do was ask! I had such an enormous crush on you, back in high school! I'd have sucked you off gladly, any time you wanted! I'd have done so much more than that... I'd have done my makeup, and dressed up like a girl for you! I wasn't very good at it, yet, but I'd have done it for you, if you'd wanted me to. I'd even have given you my cherry, let you be the first one to fuck me in my ass—anything you wanted, I'd have done it, if only you'd asked! But you never did that, never gave me the choice. You and your friends decided to force me, instead. So now, you don't get a choice! You get that, Brianna? You belong to me, now, just how I used to belong to you! So, I'm going to go upstairs now; it wouldn't be safe for me to let you drive yet anyways, not until the drugs I gave you work their way fully out of your system. I'm going upstairs, and you can just stay down here and think about it. Think about how this is all happening to you just because you never had the courage and courtesy to ask! I'll be back in maybe an hour or so, once I'm ready to go again!” She paused, staring deeply into my eyes, then suddenly kissed me, deep and passionate, full on the lips! I was still trying to recover from my shock as she was walking out the door, closing it behind her.

"Right in front of my salad" is a popular meme originating from internet culture, often used to express shock or disbelief in a humorous way. It became widespread due to its exaggerated reaction to unexpected or awkward situations, especially in animated contexts.

“Oh God Mrs. B! Shiiiittt! Fuccckk! Mrs.B!” I exclaimed in a whisper, knowing that the students out in the classroom could hear anything louder. My cock kept spewing cum into her warm mouth, and Mrs. B. guzzled down every drop. When my cock stopped shooting cum, Mrs. B. swallowed my entire shrinking dick, and then gave my balls a lick.