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“Well, with all the treatment you’ve given me since I arrived, I’m probably ahead of schedule. I can’t thank you enough for that. So, shall we all head to the Knight’s Sheath? I’m craving a drink and some good music.” She then began to laugh and stood behind Noah, rubbing his shoulders. “To think I’d reach this point in my life, spending all these evenings down in a brothel. You’re a horrible influence on me.”“You aren’t nearly as innocent as you pretend to be,” he teased.

Maybe you and I do deserve to suffer for our wrongdoing. If that’s so, then it means that when things get painful, when things get difficult, we don’t have the luxury of quitting. We don’t get to end our lives to escape what we did. Whatever form the pain takes, we bear it, we endure it, we welcome it, all while we try to make this world a place where people like us, like how we used to be, have no place, and the people who would be hurt can instead live in peace. The next time you encounter an obstacle you cannot overcome, when you just want to curl up into a ball and quit on the world, remind yourself that you don’t deserve the peace of surrender. You have to keep working, to keep fighting, to keep suffering, until the day when you’ve fully repented.

“Are you sure, Mom?” I asked. “I know this all really came at you in a rush. It totally makes sense for you to be the focus of cuddles tonight, if you want.”